After nine months of waiting, your baby has finally come into the world: you are a dad!
The birth of your child is an immense source of joy and shakes you to your very core: all your thoughts now turn to this little being so vulnerable that you never tire of contemplating.
In the space of a few hours, you have also gone from being a couple to being a family: a page turns and a new life begins! Discover our advice for approaching your baby's first months with complete peace of mind and making the most of this exceptional period.
MOVING FROM COUPLE TO FAMILY The arrival of your baby is a wonderful event, but also a great upheaval. The balance that you had built with your partner may be disrupted: you move from couple to family and everyone must redefine their place, their role. Give yourself time to find a new balance, with your baby, as a couple and with the extended family!
Redefine roles • Solidarity with your wife is essential to manage your new responsibility as parents with complete peace of mind: you made this child together, and there are two of you to take care of it! In the first months, your partner will need your help to recover from the fatigue of pregnancy and childbirth. Relieve her from everyday tasks as much as possible and take every opportunity to spend time with your child.
• Becoming a dad also involves accepting that your partner is temporarily less available to you. A close relationship between her and your baby is completely normal during the first months, and it will naturally diminish over time. Find your place by also investing in the care and relationship with your child.
• Over time, the triangular relationship between you, your partner and your baby will become better and better structured. The axis between your wife and you is as important for your baby as those which unite him to his mother and to you: for a child, his father is the man that his mother desires. And the place that your wife gives you with her thus strengthens you in your paternal role.
• If this baby is not the first for you, the adaptation will undoubtedly be easier thanks to your experience as parents. However, be attentive to the reaction of your elders to the new baby: if this subject interests you, you can consult our advice sheet. Preserve your personal lives By coming into the world, your baby made you happy parents. But you nonetheless remain a man and a woman... Parental life, married life and personal life can all be led at the same time with a little organization!
• If you feel the need to have time for yourself outside of work, talk about it with your partner to find a solution together. She will also undoubtedly appreciate that you reciprocally offer her free time without the baby, for her. You will both be able to maintain the activities that are important to you outside of your new role as parents.
• Preserving your life as a couple is essential. Take advantage of your evenings and your child's naps to create moments of intimacy as a couple like before their birth. If you have the possibility, ask the grandparents or someone you trust to watch your baby from time to time to give you some time together.
• Your partner may have difficulty feeling good in her body again after pregnancy. You will then have an essential role to play in enhancing her femininity: tell her that you love her and that you find her beautiful, offer her small gifts, show yourself tenderness... All these small gestures will help her to feel as woman as mother and to fully flourish in these two roles.
• After birth, your partner's sexual desire and yours will not necessarily be in sync. She has a body to find and apprehensions. Seduce her and show yourself. See how she receives you: if she has had an episiotomy, penetration can make her suffer because the scar does not have the same elasticity as the previous tissues.
Be very gentle and adopt loving positions where the weight of your body does not press too much on her. Don't be surprised by the change in his pleasure: the tone of his perineum has not yet been regained and his sensations are perhaps not as intense as before. For the same reasons, your enjoyment may also be less. Reassure her of your desire. Perineal rehabilitation will allow you to find as much pleasure as before, or even more. Establish good relationships with family
• Give your baby as much regular contact as possible with your family: grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts are all special and unique relationships. The mix of ages in your child's environment is also a great enrichment for him. For your part, the presence of your baby can be an opportunity to take a step back and calm down relationships with certain people around you.
• At the same time, clearly assert your place vis-à-vis the rest of the family. Grandparents are often present and sometimes interfere a little too much in your daily life with your baby: if this is the case, you will have to gently make them understand that they must respect your choices and your way of living with your child .