Your partner has just told you: she is pregnant and in a few months, you will be a father! This news is a great source of joy, but sometimes also of anxiety: your life will change, the physical appearance of your partner too, and you don't know exactly what to expect... Don't panic: you are 9 months to prepare for the arrival of your child, and your worries are perfectly normal. During this very special period, you will have to accompany and support the mother-to-be, but also move slowly towards your own parenthood. Discover with us how to best prepare yourself for the big event that is approaching.
SUPPORTING THE FUTURE MOM ON A DAILY BASIS
Pregnancy is a considerable upheaval for your partner, both physically and emotionally. Throughout the next nine months, she will need your material and emotional support.
- From the first weeks, she may suffer from sometimes intense nausea. To relieve her, take responsibility for meal preparation as much as possible: this will prevent her from having to handle foods that disgust her. Also consider bringing her something to eat before she gets up in the morning: this often helps reduce nausea.
- Overall, pregnancy is a very tiring time for the mother-to-be. Relieve her from material tasks as much as possible and encourage her to rest. If you sometimes find that she is not caring enough about her pregnancy, discuss it with her and offer your help and support so that she can slow down the pace.
- You may also be surprised by his mood swings : they are particularly linked to hormonal upheavals, which very often lead to hypersensitivity. Be patient and listen, reassure her if she appears anxious.
- From the 2nd trimester of pregnancy, your partner begins to be tired by the weight of her stomach , which makes any physical activity and even simple standing painful. Relieve her as soon as you can: do the shopping for her, carry heavy loads, take care of the cleaning or cooking, slow down so that she can walk alongside you if she tends to out of breath...
- If she suffers from back pain or heaviness in her legs (common problems especially at the end of pregnancy), offer her a massage to relax her. These tender moments will also be an opportunity to meet again in complete privacy.
- The couple's sexuality is often turned upside down during pregnancy , and your partner's libido may be less intense than usual. Sometimes, pregnancy also modifies physical reactions: less vaginal lubrication, pain during penetration or post-orgasmic uterine contractions can also reduce desire. Be patient and understanding, and avoid making it a point of contention.
INVEST IN PREGNANCY
From the first weeks of pregnancy, your partner feels the change taking place throughout her body. For you, all this remains very abstract, and it is sometimes difficult for you to invest yourself as much as she does in waiting for the big event... Many small gestures can help you become aware of your future fatherhood and testify to the future mother of your commitment.
- If you can, accompany her to her pregnancy follow-up appointments with her gynecologist or midwife. This will allow you to ask your questions and hear at the same time as her the advice and recommendations that will be given to her. From the 2nd month of pregnancy, this will also give you the opportunity to hear the life that is brewing in your belly, by listening to the heartbeat of the embryo. A magical and often overwhelming sound that will help anchor the reality of pregnancy within you.
- Likewise, arrange to be present for the three main ultrasounds . You will be able to see your baby, realize how much he moves, he is active, alive! At the end of each examination, do not hesitate to ask the practitioner questions or ask him to show you some images of your child again if you feel like it.
- When choosing your method of preparation for childbirth, think about haptonomy : defined as the science of affectivity, it offers a privileged place to the future father. The sessions can begin as soon as the baby's movements are perceptible to your partner. Based on dialogue with your child via specific touches, haptonomy offers you a unique way to establish emotional communication with them.
- Do not hesitate to get involved with your partner in the choice of maternity. Even if this choice is often made by the mother-to-be based on her birth plan, give your opinion: the reception of dads in preparation for the birth, in the delivery room and during the stay in the maternity ward are important criteria for you as for her! Respecting the place you want to take with her during and after the birth is important to help you enter your new role as a father.
- When your partner has started to feel your baby moving, try to perceive it in turn by placing your hands on the bottom of his stomach. At first, don't expect to feel big blows, but rather a presence that fills your hand or a sensation comparable to small bubbles bursting. If you don't notice anything yet, be patient and repeat the experience a few days later.
- When you have managed to smell your baby, give yourself some quiet time which you will devote fully to communicating with him, every day if possible. You can not only touch him through his stomach, but also talk to him, make him listen to music...
- To plan for the future life with your child, invest in the material preparation for their arrival: take care of repainting their room, help choose the furniture or the stroller that will fill you with pride when you walk your baby! Your partner will certainly be touched to see you so involved.