Childbirth on dad's side

D-day is fast approaching: just a few weeks left and you will be a dad!

Although you are not physically giving birth, you too will bring a child into the world and be born into a new identity, that of a father. On an emotional level, this moment is just as overwhelming for you as it is for your partner. Discover our advice to best support the mother-to-be and calmly approach these few hours which will change everything.

GET ORGANIZED BEFORE CHILDBIRTH

As the term approaches, remember to organize your professional replacement if necessary, to be able to reach your partner as soon as she calls.
Think in advance about the means of transport you will use to get to the maternity ward . If you are not too far away, you can go on foot: walking often helps the work to progress. Otherwise, the car is the simplest solution, but remember to identify parking spaces in advance. If you do not have a vehicle, do not hesitate to call a taxi or ambulance and ask for a transport voucher: social security will cover the cost. Finally, if you are caught off guard without any solution, you can call 15 who will send you a vehicle.
When the day comes, stay with her at home while she goes into labor, and trust her to decide when to leave for the maternity ward. You can nevertheless have an idea: it is generally recommended to wait two hours of regular contractions every ten minutes before moving.
When you leave for the maternity ward, remember to take care of the luggage for your partner and your future baby : it would be a shame to forget them at home in the excitement of the moment!

BE PRESENT… OR NOT

Today, most fathers are present during the birth of their child. However, this is not an obligation: if you do not feel capable, talk about it with your partner and openly discuss your fears in order to make a decision together that suits you both.

It also happens that the mother-to-be prefers to give birth without the father present, for fear of upsetting him or to better “enter his bubble”. If this is the case with your partner, respect her request while explaining your own desires to her: if you strongly desire to be present, she may be touched, reassured, and she may accept that you accompany her.
Finally, in the event of a cesarean section, most maternity wards ask the father to leave the delivery room. Stay close: as soon as your baby is born, you will be the one to warm him and reassure him for his first contact with the world. So remember to take off your shirt to offer him the incomparable warmth of skin-to-skin contact.

TO KNOW BEFORE THE D-DAY

From 2 hours to more than 24 hours, the duration of work varies extremely . But whatever the objective number of hours, a birth is a parenthesis outside of time during which you and your partner will enter a bubble where you will not see the minutes pass. So prepare yourself to let go and surrender to the emotion of this exceptional moment, without wanting to control how it unfolds.
Let your partner decide freely whether or not to use epidural anesthesia : even if it is difficult for you to accept seeing her suffer, she may want to experience birth in all its intensity.
The pain of childbirth follows the curve of contractions : with each contraction, it starts gently, then rises, peaks and finally falls again. Between two contractions, the pain disappears: your partner will be able to take advantage of these intervals to regain her breath and her strength. As labor progresses, the contractions become more intense and closer together. If the mother-to-be feels the need to moan or scream, encourage her: these complaints can help her cope with the suffering.

You may be surprised by your partner's attitude during labor: her way of being and expressing herself may have nothing to do with what you usually know of her. You will then need to reassure her as best you can, but without trivializing her feeling: recognize that it is difficult and encourage her to maintain a mental connection with your baby throughout the labor. He also accomplished an extraordinary feat at the same time!

The mother-to-be will have the leading role during childbirth. However, your complaints or possible discomfort will also be legitimate: you will be able to take advantage of calmer moments on your partner's side to express them to the midwives. They will take care of you and reassure you so that everyone benefits from a climate of tranquility and serenity. Also allow yourself to leave the work room from time to time if you need to: eat, call loved ones if you feel alone...

SUPPORT YOUR COMPANION DURING LABOR

You are probably wondering about the role you can play during childbirth. Know that your simple presence is already a great support. Don't try to do more than you are capable of: you are neither your partner's midwife nor her therapist. However, if she accepts it and you feel comfortable, you can intervene on several levels:

You can help him find the right positions during contractions. Strong pressure of the hands on the lower back, or the application of towels moistened with very hot water to the same area also often helps women to cope with the pain.
You will also be able to identify the rhythm of the contractions (using the monitoring if it is connected) and notify her when one of them arrives, or at the peak of a contraction tell her that the pain is about to decrease .
You can also help your partner recover between two contractions, with a tender gesture, a caress or a massage which will allow her to release residual tension.
Also be sure to create a climate of trust and not communicate to her your possible anxieties: she will be more easily able to listen to herself if she feels surrounded by your serene warmth.
If your partner has chosen the epidural and is not suffering, you will still have a big role to play: when the pain fades, it happens that anxiety is expressed during the birth and she will then need your listening and of your support.
If she doesn't ask you anything during labor, leave her alone without disturbing her with too many proposals, even well-intentioned: during labor, women need to enter a bubble from which they must not be distracted.
At the time of expulsion, support your partner in the effort by encouraging her . And when your baby is born, you can reach out and pick him up and place him on his mother. If you wish, you can also cut the umbilical cord: remember to ask the midwives during labor. Finally, let yourself go with your emotions: they weave the first bonds that unite you with your child.
After birth, follow your baby for the first pediatric examinations, and if possible carry him yourself: after his mother's, your arms are the most secure for him, even if you feel clumsy.